How to Claim the Events of Your Life and Truly Own Yourself
Transforming Pain, Joy, and Chaos Into Power
Your Eventbrite Calandar
Eventbrite invites us to join events, but life demands something more: to claim the ones we’ve already attended. To look back at the moments we’ve lived—whether planned or unplanned—and reflect on how they’ve shaped us. Claim your events. Own your story. RSVP to the rest of your life with intention.
But who’s the event coordinator? And how do you even begin to claim these moments? I’m so glad you asked, because for me, writing is how I’ve decided to claim the events of my life. It’s how I’m making myself mine—piece by piece, story by story, moment by moment. And it’s through my words that I’d like act as your event planner in this article by sparking your creativity.
You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. - ANNE-WILSON SCHAEF”
The above quote is drawn from Anne Wilson Schaef’s book, Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much—a collection of daily reflections designed to help women confront the challenges of overcommitment, stress, and societal expectations. In this simple yet profound statement, Schaef underscores the necessity of embracing one’s life experiences, both good and bad, to achieve personal ownership and authenticity.
This message lies at the heart of Schaef’s work, which spans topics like addiction recovery, systemic inequalities, and spiritual healing. Through books like When Society Becomes an Addict and Women’s Reality, Schaef critiqued the “addictive system” of Western culture—a system driven by control, consumerism, and disconnection—and emphasized the importance of reclaiming one’s identity from these influences. Her writing encourages readers to take responsibility for their narratives, to reflect deeply on their life events, and to use those reflections as tools for growth and self-discovery.
Claiming the events of your life, as Schaef suggests, is an act of courage and empowerment. It involves acknowledging the moments that shaped you—the joyful and the painful, the planned and the unplanned—and integrating them into your story. This process isn’t just about acceptance; it’s about transformation. By owning your experiences, you reclaim control over how they define you, turning them into stepping stones toward authenticity and self-awareness.
For me, Schaef’s wisdom resonates deeply. Writing has become my way of claiming the events of my life—a space where I revisit and process the moments that have shaped me, from the triumphs to the traumas. It’s where my bubbly and timid sides meet, creating meaning from the chaos of my experiences and building a bridge toward a more complete sense of self.
Difficult and rich—this is what a person in an authentic maturation finds at the essence of it all—and it shows, both inside and outside, on the person who strives toward it. This we know, there is a noticeable difference between a considered life of depth and one based on phantasmagoric beliefs. On this journey toward “true home,” though we may, from time to time, turn back to record or measure from whence we came, we do not turn back in order to turn back” - Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
True growth is both challenging and rewarding, and it becomes evident in someone who genuinely pursues it, both in their inner world and outward actions. There’s a clear distinction between living a thoughtful, meaningful life and one built on illusions or fleeting ideas such as:
“Success Equals Happiness”
The belief that achieving external markers of success—wealth, status, or fame—will automatically lead to fulfillment and happiness is another example. This overlooks the deeper emotional, spiritual, and relational needs that contribute to a truly contented life.
“Happily Ever After” in Relationships
Believing that finding the “perfect” partner will magically resolve all personal struggles and guarantee eternal happiness is another example. This idea, perpetuated by romanticized media and fairy tales, ignores the complexities and hard work required to build and maintain a meaningful relationship.
“I Must Be Positive All the Time”
The belief that one must always stay positive and avoid negative emotions to live a good life is an illusion. This form of toxic positivity denies the richness and reality of human experience, which includes struggle, grief, and anger—all of which are essential for growth and authenticity.
As we move toward our authentic selves, we might occasionally reflect on how far we’ve come, but we don’t look back with the intention of retreating.
The Artist Way
Taking ownership of the events in your life means actively shaping how those experiences influence your identity and your story. While I’ve chosen writing as my way to process and reclaim my experiences, there are countless other ways to take control and claim your own narrative. Here are some approaches:
1. Storytelling Through Art
Creating art—whether it’s painting, music, film, or photography—can be a powerful way to process and reclaim your experiences. Art allows you to externalize your emotions and memories, turning them into something tangible. It gives you a way to shape your narrative without relying solely on words.
• Example: Turning a painful memory into a painting that expresses the emotions you couldn’t verbalize, or writing a song about a transformative moment.
2. Sharing Your Story Through Speaking
Some people find healing and empowerment through sharing their stories out loud—whether it’s in therapy, at a support group, or through public speaking. Speaking your truth in a safe space allows you to reclaim the events of your life by giving them voice and validation.
• Example: Joining a storytelling event or podcast to share an experience that shaped you.
3. Service and Advocacy
Using your experiences to help others can be a profound way to claim them. By turning your pain into purpose, you transform what happened to you into a source of strength, both for yourself and for others.
• Example: Someone who experienced trauma might volunteer at a crisis center or become an advocate for mental health, using their story to empower others.
4. Ritual and Symbolic Acts
Rituals can help you process and symbolically take control of your past. These don’t have to be traditional religious rituals; they can be personal, like journaling, lighting a candle to release a memory, or creating a vision board.
• Example: Writing a letter to your past self, or even to someone who hurt you, and then burning it as a way of releasing lingering pain.
5. Therapy and Reflection
Working with a therapist or engaging in structured reflection can help you process the events of your life in a way that allows you to understand them and decide how they will define you moving forward.
• Example: Using cognitive-behavioral therapy or journaling to reframe negative events as moments of growth or learning.
6. Building Something New
Sometimes, reclaiming your life’s events means building a new chapter for yourself. This might be starting a business, pursuing a new career, or even moving to a new place. By creating something positive out of your experiences, you reclaim control over your future.
• Example: A person who struggled with addiction might create a recovery program to help others, or someone who felt trapped in their hometown might start fresh in a new city.
7. Forgiveness and Letting Go
Forgiving yourself or others doesn’t mean excusing harmful actions, but it does allow you to release the grip those events have on your present life. Letting go is an active choice that claims your right to move forward.
• Example: Writing a forgiveness journal or practicing mindfulness to separate yourself from lingering resentment or guilt.
8. Physical Expression
The body carries memory, and movement can be a way of reclaiming experiences that feel stuck or unresolved. Dancing, running, yoga, or martial arts can help process emotions and give you a sense of agency over your life.
• Example: Using dance to process grief or reclaim joy, or practicing martial arts to feel physically and emotionally empowered.
9. Building a New Narrative
Sometimes, reclaiming your life’s events means consciously reframing your story. Instead of seeing yourself as a victim, you see yourself as a survivor. Instead of focusing on mistakes, you focus on the lessons learned.
• Example: Creating a timeline of your life’s events, focusing on moments of growth and resilience.
10. Deepening Relationships
Sometimes, we claim our life’s events by sharing them with those closest to us. Vulnerability in relationships—whether with friends, family, or a partner—can help transform isolating experiences into shared connections.
• Example: Telling a trusted friend about a painful event for the first time, or having an honest conversation with someone about how their actions impacted you.
To claim the events of your life is to process, integrate, and transform them in alignment with your authentic self. For me, writing is the path I’ve chosen—and I hope my words inspire healing in you. However, the act of claiming can take many forms. What matters most is that it’s deliberate, reflective, and empowering—turning the events of your life into tools for growth and self-definition, rather than allowing them to define you.
How do you actively claim the events of your life, and what creative or reflective practices help you transform those experiences into tools for personal growth and authenticity? I’d love to hear what you have to say!